Sister Rosemary M. Wixom:
"In a recent Sunday Relief Society meeting, I listened to a young mother share part of her journey of conversion. She had grown up in the Church, with parents who taught her the gospel. She attended Primary, Young Women, and seminary. She loved to learn and discover truths ... With the spirit of inquiry, this mother continued to ask questions. But as the questions grew harder, so did the answers. And sometimes there were no answers—or no answers that brought peace. Eventually, as she sought to find answers, more and more questions arose, and she began to question some of the very foundations of her faith.
During this confusing time, some of those around her said, 'Just lean on my faith.' But she thought, 'I can’t. You don’t understand; you’re not grappling with these issues.' She explained, “I was willing to extend courtesy to those without doubts if they would extend courtesy to me.” And many did.
She said, 'My parents knew my heart and allowed me space. They chose to love me while I was trying to figure it out for myself.' Likewise, [her] bishop often met with her and spoke of his confidence in her.
Ward members also did not hesitate to give love, and she felt included. Her ward was not a place to put on a perfect face; it was a place of nurture.
... In spite of her substantial support system, she became less active. She said, 'I did not separate myself from the Church because of bad behavior, spiritual apathy, looking for an excuse not to live the commandments, or searching for an easy out. I felt I needed the answer to the question ‘What do I really believe?’'
... As she reflected back, she said, 'My testimony had become like a pile of ashes. It had all burned down. All that remained was Jesus Christ.' She continued, 'But He does not leave you when you have questions. When anyone tries to keep the commandments, the door is wide open. Prayer and scripture study became incredibly important.'
Her first step to rebuild her faith was to start with basic gospel truths. She bought a Primary songbook and began reading the words of the songs. They were treasures to her. She prayed for faith to lift the heaviness she felt.
She learned that when she came up against a statement that caused her to doubt, she 'could stop, look at the whole picture, and make the gospel personal' ... Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has said, 'Humility, faith, and the influence of the Holy Spirit [will] always be elements of every quest for truth.'
... About this time a call came to serve as Primary pianist. 'It was safe,' she said. 'I wanted to have my children in Primary, and now I could be with them. And I wasn’t ready to teach yet.' As she served, she continued to feel from those around her the invitation 'Come; we want you, whatever stage you are at, and we will meet you there. Give us whatever you have to offer.'
Playing the Primary songs, she often thought to herself, 'Here are truths I love. I can still bear testimony. I will just say those things that I know and trust. It may not be a perfect offering of knowledge, but it will be my offering. What I focus on expands inside of me. It is beautiful to get back to the essence of the gospel and feel clarity.'
On that Sunday morning, as I listened to this young sister share the story of her journey, I was reminded that “it is upon the rock of our Redeemer” that we all must build our foundation. I was also reminded of the counsel of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes.”
During her lesson, I came to know more fervently that answers to our sincere questions come when we earnestly seek and when we live the commandments. I was reminded that our faith can reach beyond the limits of current reason.
And, oh, how I want to be like those who surrounded this [woman], loving and supporting her. As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: 'We are all pilgrims seeking God’s light as we journey on the path of discipleship. We do not condemn others for the amount of light they may or may not have; rather, we nourish and encourage all light until it grows clear, bright, and true.'"
And, oh, how I want to be like those who surrounded this [woman], loving and supporting her. As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: 'We are all pilgrims seeking God’s light as we journey on the path of discipleship. We do not condemn others for the amount of light they may or may not have; rather, we nourish and encourage all light until it grows clear, bright, and true.'"
